It was great to see Emma – she’d been so kind to Jenny and they’d been such good friends.
Jenny had always told me what Emma was up to, and who she was going out with. Perhaps I’d always been harmlessly interested to find out if she’d ever give up on that bastard Simon, or whoever, and find someone decent.
A pretty blonde, lithe, kind and fiercely intelligent – maybe I’d always thought she could do better for herself than she did.
And now that seemed such an interesting idea to someone in my position, someone who hadn’t looked at or even spent time with a woman without shadows looming, not for a very long time.
The children took to her instantly. That was great, since I’d been uncertain how they’d react.
But they loved her, straight away, and I can remember Emma bouncing first William and then Emily on her knee.
It was such a happy scene to watch and I shed a secret tear or two as I prepared the meal whilst they all played together.
Once the kids went off to bed, it was just the two of us. And we got on well that evening, we really did. It was probably fifteen years since I’d spent time like that as a single man. And it was fun.
Yes, we talked about Jenny, and Emma understood, and she said how Jenny had helped her when she’d started work, and how much she missed her around the office, which were lovely things to say.
She told me about their office, about the people and the business, and I was able to catch up on all the news I had missed since Jenny was ill.
We talked about geology, too, and it was great to be able to talk on a technical level as I had done with Jenny.
We had a good evening, and it felt very different from times when I’d met girls in my youth.
Thank goodness it did, really, since I’d so often been nervous then, always saying the wrong things by trying too hard to impress.
But this conversation was much more relaxed, and I felt composed and confident, even at that time when I’d been feeling low for so long.
: : 
: : 
: : 
: : 
: : 
8 responses so far ↓
shadowlands1501 // 15 July, 2009 at 10:11 |
How great to have a moment of “familiar” with someone. Someone who wasn’t afraid to say Jenny’s name, who could fit into that void even if it was for only an evening…it had to feel like a relief…yet I imagine, it was a little bittersweet…
New adventures seem to always come with that flavoring…bittersweet…
Looking forward to more of your “firsts”…I am taking notes…*smile*.
Author // 15 July, 2009 at 13:49 |
I agree with Shadowlands ~ how lovely that Emma felt comfortable talking about Jenny ~ if only people realised how difficult avoidance is to handle. It’s so much easier to feel free to talk in that old familiar way about someone who has gone: it’s so comforting too.
Roads // 15 July, 2009 at 16:13 |
Thank you, Shadowlands. Yes — you’re exactly right. This was the conversation that I had craved — the opportunity to talk openly with someone who had worked with Jenny and shared her thoughts in the office, every day.
That, and the chance to spend the evening with a beautiful and intelligent young woman. The combination was beguiling.
Best wishes to you — I’m afraid that the anniversary of Dan’s death has unwittingly passed me by. I’ll check in soon to find out how you are coping, and for the moment I’m comforted to see you back here and still in positive mood. It’s been a hard and lonely year, I’m sure.
Roads // 15 July, 2009 at 16:26 |
Thank you, Jan. I greatly appreciated Emma’s thought in calling and then in spending time to come and see us.
She was refreshingly open in her approach to the discussion, and completely and unconcerned about tackling difficult subjects — looking back from here, I can see how her own grief at losing Jenny was considerable as well. We enjoyed a very pleasant evening, quite unlikely as that might seem.
cathyb // 16 July, 2009 at 05:48 |
Ah Roads, I am getting caught up on my reading…I want to know the rest of the story….NOW ! I like where this is going. And even if it might not go where I hope it goes, it is nice to know that at that point in time, you had a lovely evening with a lovely woman. It can happen. It does happen.
Cathyb
http://www.lessonsfromlou.blogspot.com
Roads // 16 July, 2009 at 07:54 |
Yes, Cathy. It was a great evening — I liked where it was going, too …
Lori // 18 July, 2009 at 23:29 |
Roads,
I’m still reading! Just got caught up and I too like where this is going. I really like that you could hear about Jenny’s days at the office from someone else and how she helped others.
I recently lost a family member, I’m hearing stories where hes fondly remembered and its so very comforting.
Best!
Lori (stl)
Roads // 19 July, 2009 at 22:29 |
Hi, Lori — it’s good to see you back, but I’m sorry to hear about your family loss. As you say, sharing memories is good.
Thanks for your kind words about the story. I’ll be posting more, very soon.
Meanwhile, we were all rooting for the Kansas hero in the British Open golf here today. Sadly even legends don’t always find happy endings to their fairytales.