May 13th-15th 1997
And I thought, if that’s going to happen, then I might as well make things happen myself.
If life is going to improve, only one person can arrange it, and that’s me. So I’d better keep my eyes open, and see who comes my way.
Then, out of the blue one day, Jenny’s friend Emma telephoned.
She was sorry she hadn’t called recently, she said, but she wondered how I was getting on, and how the children were. To my shame, I’ve already said how I’d caught myself noticing Emma when she visited whilst Jenny was ill.
That was hardly surprising, since doubtless the entire male population of southeast England had worked out what an attractive girl Emma was.
But now I found myself saying, look, Emma – why don’t you come and see for yourself one evening? You can meet the kids again, I said, and we’ll have some pasta.
She came round a few days later. I’d like to say now that it all came as a surprise to me, how I reacted that evening, but I’d be lying, I really would.
How many single guys, even recent widowers, would do things differently if they had a very pretty and intelligent girl coming to dinner?
Not many, I’m certain of that.
So as well as getting some food in, rather more than just pasta, I must say, I found myself buying new aftershave, too, and even deciding that I needed some new underpants as well.
I really didn’t have any plans to show them to Emma that evening, however briefly, I can assure you, but that purchase did mark a kind of watershed.
Suddenly I was thinking of myself as a man again.
For the first time, I was a single guy entertaining an attractive woman, and wearing those new briefs was a real part of trying to feel attractive myself.
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8 responses so far ↓
Supa // 9 July, 2009 at 14:36 |
What a great story! You captured your turning point, or one of the many many many!
Thanks for providing inspiration for so many of us, in writing as in life.
X
Supa
JoAnne // 9 July, 2009 at 14:55 |
Thanks for sharing from a man’s perspective, I found your comments honest and heartfelt, please share more.
Roads // 9 July, 2009 at 23:16 |
Thanks, Supa. I’m glad you’re reading and I appreciate your thoughts — since you know this process well.
One of many moments, as you say, and much more of a beginning than any kind of resolution. It all seemed simple then — if very, very scary.
Best wishes, from back again in London.
Roads // 9 July, 2009 at 23:27 |
Thanks, JoAnne. I’m pleased to write from a man’s perspective — it’s the one that I know best. We’re pretty linear in our thinking.
But is a man’s view really all that different from a woman’s? Probably, in some ways — yes — and yet in many others, I’ll venture just the same.
Men don’t often write their feelings down, and that’s the novelty. I always thought that the great strength of When Harry Met Sally wasn’t that famous scene in the restaurant, but the scenes at baseball games over the years where Billy Crystal’s character shares his problems with his friend.
Think of this account as providing the same, with rather fewer hot dogs.
Kind regards from a thoughtful midnight in London, and thanks again.
Author // 15 July, 2009 at 13:45 |
This made me smile. So men are jsut the same as women after all! The first thing a woman does when she spies someone she likes (and is single and available) is rush out and buy new underwear. It’s a sort of right of passage ~ as you rightly say, it make you feel as sexual being again.
Roads // 15 July, 2009 at 16:18 |
Yes, Jan — for all of the difference between the sexes, perhaps we think the same thoughts sometimes, after all.
It didn’t feel like hopeful plotting when I made that purchase. I convinced myself that after 10 years of marriage, it was just a simple expedient of updating the basics that was required.
Whether I believed that explanation is open to some doubt. But for the moment, that was my story, and I was sticking to it.
Cranius // 20 July, 2009 at 22:24 |
I would also notice an intelligent young woman like Emma. But to buy special underwear for that occasion or woman .. mmm .. I think I only would do that if I was in love with her .. I guess I’m too old fashioned.
Where can you buy those briefs with the London underground map printed on them and is that really your body?
Roads // 21 July, 2009 at 16:09 |
Thanks, Pieter. Yes, I agree with you, precisely, but it is surprising what a patch of blue sky can do.
You can buy London Underground underwear, and lots more fun stuff at animalsontheunderground.com. As it happens I used a body double for that photo, but the likeness is very close, I can assure you.
Best wishes to Amsterdam, from London.