I’m sure everyone here will join me in sending all our best wishes to Amy Mickelson, wife of US Ryder Cup star Phil, as she undergoes surgery for breast cancer in Houston, Texas this week.
Phil is a favourite with golf fans around the world, and scarcely a round goes by without me wishing I had Phil by my side to play another breathtaking wedge shot out of trouble around the green.
Now the dangers lurking are of a different kind entirely. It’ll seem like an eternity since Amy was diagnosed in May, and with surgery on July 1st and the prospect of chemotherapy beyond, there’s a hard road ahead, for both of them.
I know that Darren Clarke, brave author of our foreword here, spoke with Phil at the US Open in Bethpage, New York, where ‘Lefty’ put in a movingly inspiring and heroic performance last week, in very nearly winning the old tin cup for Amy.
It’s shocking in the extreme to hear of yet another beautiful young woman starting out along such a difficult rollercoaster ride, with a fearful husband and innocent young children beside her. But the awful truth is that breast cancer doesn’t discriminate — it strikes all around the world, on every single day.
And finally, sadly, that’s really why we’re here.
Amy and Phil — we wish you and your family well. May you be amongst the lucky ones.
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13 responses so far ↓
Gail Clarke // 29 June, 2009 at 11:57 |
I am sending a heartfull of love and many prayers for Amy. I am sure she will have total and complete recovery.
Roads // 29 June, 2009 at 21:16 |
Welcome, Gail — and many thanks — yes, I share your thoughts exactly, whilst trying to spare a thought not just for Amy but for Phil as well, and all the stress he will be under.
It’s a huge load to bear for any husband or wife in this situation — trying to shore up your partner’s morale whilst inevitably facing some of your own darkest fears as well.
As soon as I heard this news, I thought, ‘Oh no, not them.’ And, ‘Oh no, not now,’ — the Mickelson girls are just 10, 7 and 6 — but the truth is that there just never is a good time to be diagnosed with breast cancer.
And whilst practical advice abounds there’s still far too little emotional support for those who are diagnosed and their families. Hospitals will act wisely and professionally, and friends will do their best (whilst often somehow still managing to say the wrong things entirely). All of which inevitably leaves you feeling quite alone in dealing with the news.
It’s a blessing that Amy and Phil have supportive friends, including Darren Clarke, and a strong family behind them. Those gifts will make it easier for them, just a little — although life will certainly look quite different now, and for a while to come.
Echoing all your warm thoughts and wishes, and many thanks again, from London.
Author // 1 July, 2009 at 07:21 |
Wishing Amy and her family well …
Maggie May // 2 July, 2009 at 03:13 |
I am new here and browsed through your site, coming to understand where you’ve been and what you write about. I want to add my good wishes and love to you and your children. Thank you for baring your experiences here. As you say, death is something that ‘happens to other people’ we think- especially in America. Sharing like this is important.
Roads // 2 July, 2009 at 12:12 |
Thanks, Jan. I’ll underline those good wishes. Let’s hope that Amy’s surgery went well. Let’s hope she can make a comfortable recovery and get home to her family again very soon.
Kind regards from a blazingly hot and sunny midsummer’s day in London.
Roads // 2 July, 2009 at 12:17 |
Maggie
Thanks for your comment — it’s good to see you at The Price of Love. You’re very welcome here.
Thank you for your good wishes, warmly returned from me across the miles. In fact your description of American attitudes could apply equally well in Britain, and doubtless all around the world.
Sharing stories and opening discussions is important if we are to make progress in educating people and doing what we can to help those who suffer through cancer and bereavement. I’m keen to do all I can to assist in that process, and I greatly appreciate your support. Many thanks again.
Dewdrop // 3 July, 2009 at 12:21 |
Having been there, done that, suffered the mental anguishes of wondering what will happen, I wish the Mickelsons all the best and a complete recovery with continuing “remission”.
Roads // 3 July, 2009 at 13:47 |
Yes, thank you, Dewdrop, and as you say, having lived through this, you have a very clear idea just what this experience is like.
My post breast cancer diagnosis tries to explain some of the emotions that are involved, from the perspective of a patient and for a partner, too.
But reading it again now, and thinking of the Mickelsons, I’m aware that my description of these days can barely even scratch the surface.
Just above, in my post this week, I state that life will look different, for a while. And you will know, having been there, done that, just what a huge and endlessly expanding understatement that really is.
It’s hard to describe, even now, quite how much a cancer diagnosis affects your view of the world and everything that’s in it. From many perspectives, that’s good — because it’s so enlightening to see the delusions and so-called dramas of everyday life drift away to reveal all the things that really are important about life and living.
The refocusing and reprioritising that brings can make your life feel much richer and more valuable than it ever seemed before. But there’s a downside, of course, in that this learning comes at an enormous cost. The shame is not only that we never made these realisations before, but that they arrive at the most vulnerable time of all, when everything you hold most precious suddenly feels threatened.
Given time and a fair wind through treatment, that sense of vulnerability can fade, and the shadows will lift on many more sunny days. But even then, and even in the brightest moments, the horizon will always look just a little different from how it did before.
They say that life is not defined by the adversities we face, but the way in which we meet them. I wish Amy and Phil all good health and happiness as well as all the courage they will need to go forward to meet the future now. Many thanks again, and my warmest wishes from this very hot London train.
Roads // 16 July, 2009 at 12:32 |
Phil Mickelson’s mother diagnosed with breast cancer
Roads // 16 July, 2009 at 12:34 |
Mickelson will need family, friends facing second fight
Roads // 16 July, 2009 at 12:35 |
Mickelson misses Turnberry British Open to be with Amy
Ginny Innis // 21 July, 2009 at 23:31 |
Dear Phil and Amy,
Our prayers are with you daily. We miss not seeing Phil play golf, but we know he is choosing the best which is to be with you and support you. We just heard Mary Mickelson was diagnosed with breast cancer. This is a hard time for your family. We will continue to pray for the entire family.
Roads // 23 July, 2009 at 17:34 |
Thank you, Ginny. My thoughts are with you exactly. How hard that Phil’s mother, Mary Mickelson, should also now be diagnosed with breast cancer. Perhaps this is good news — the news about Amy leading Mary to check, and then detecting it much earlier than she might have.
We wish them all well. Kind regards from London.