December 6th, 1996
A Friday evening, and the night of the office Christmas dance. We’d decided not to drive up to Jenny’s company party at the Hilton in London, but Jenny wanted to go to mine, which was much nearer to home.
I left it until the last minute to decide, but Jenny was adamant. Stubborn, determined, bloody minded – call it what you will, we’d fought for years because we both shared those qualities. But I’ll tell you now, that girl had guts, make no mistake about it.
And so when Geoff arrived to look after the kids, somehow we squeezed her into one of her favourite red dresses, and out we went. You can see the tension in Jenny’s face in the picture we took before leaving, and she struggled to walk from the car park when we arrived.
But Jenny did fantastically well that evening, wearing one of her two smart new wigs, and she smiled to everyone broadly as soon as we arrived. That night I was proud of her in a way that I can hardly describe, and especially for her bravery in going out at all.
We met the kind manager who had sent us the thoughtful note from Calgary. His warm welcome alone made the evening worthwhile. Then we joined our table, but after a while Jenny began to doze during the conversation, much to the amusement of some of the other guests.
If that’s the effect of two young children, then we’d better avoid it, they said. I just smiled wanly and packed Jenny into the car by ten, before the mints had even been unwrapped.
When we got home, it took half an hour to extricate her from that dress. We even had to cut it in a few places, since Jenny’s left arm was so swollen and heavy with lymphoedema.
There were too many bits now which you simply couldn’t touch, and wriggling her out of it just wasn’t an option.
The whole evening had been such a huge effort for Jenny, but it was well worth it, if only to stick two fingers up to her cancer and say, sod it, I’ll continue with my life, I bloody well will.
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4 responses so far ↓
Author // 24 May, 2008 at 09:58 |
Such wonderful inner strength and determination Jenny had. No wonder you are so proud of her.
It’s hard to even conjure up how difficult and exhausting that must have been (physically and mentally) for you both. Sheer willpower must have kept Jenny going.
I love the attitude: “stick two fingers up to her cancer and say, sod it, I’ll continue with my life, I bloody well will. ”
Jenny’s spirit was so indomitable – that cancer must have been very virulent. A reminder for other readers:
Cancer is so limited that:
It cannot cripple love
It cannot shatter hope
It cannot corrode faith
It cannot destroy peace
It cannot kill friendship
It cannot suppress memories
It cannot silence courage
It cannot invade the soul
It cannot steal eternal life
It cannot conquer the spirit.
Jenny’s spirit was not conquered, even unto the end.
Roads // 24 May, 2008 at 16:36 |
Thank you, Jan. Yes, independent thought and determination were qualities which Jenny held in abundance. Feisty was one word for it. Stubborn might just have been another, but of course that is often an asset when facing so many challenges in life.
Thank you for that verse, which I’ve seen a couple of times before. It’s completely inspirational, I agree, but the problem is that whilst cancer can’t do any of those things, all too often it’s intent on having a bloody good go.
We need to do much more to fight the disease than we presently do – and whilst the generous public subscriptions to impressive stuff like scanners, new hospitals and world-leading research in this country do much to help, I’m always left with the feeling that it shouldn’t be up to individuals to support those initiatives.
It’s exactly these things that we should be spending our taxes on. You can buy a lot of cancer treatment and research for the price of a week’s military expenditure in Iraq or Afghanistan. Many thanks again.
nichole3 // 28 May, 2008 at 18:17 |
Roads,
What a brave thing Jenny did in going to your Christmas party. She was really fighting and holding on for life.
Roads // 28 May, 2008 at 23:19 |
Thanks, Nichole. Jenny was always sure that she was going to that party.
It’s amazing how the sick manage somehow to lift themselves for important occasions, but that’s exactly what they do. Determination can achieve a very great deal.